If you’re feeling more irritable of late, you’re not alone! Jo Fiddy, EFT practitioner and menopause coach, shares why this might be and what you can do to channel your inner anger and frustration during perimenopause and beyond.
Words: Jo Fiddy. Images: Shutterstock.
Do you feel more irritated? Have a shorter fuse? Perhaps your partner’s breathing tips you over the edge? If so, you’re not alone. Irritability impacts 70 per cent of perimenopausal women, yet it is not a subject that is talked about that much.
We now know, thanks to the incredible research by neuroscientist Dr Lisa Mosconi into the female brain, that oestrogen receptors are found throughout the brain, particularly in the amygdala, hippocampus, limbic system and prefrontal cortex, which are key areas for mood, memory, stress regulation and also decision making.
During perimenopause, oestrogen and progesterone fluctuate, which impact these areas and also influence your brain’s mood messengers, serotonin (your mood cheerleader), dopamine (your motivation spark), and GABA (your calm keeper). All while making you more sensitive to the stress hormone cortisol.
Together, this mix can make emotions run high and trigger the anger many women can experience. The result? Higher baseline cortisol and a more reactive stress system that can make everyday frustrations feel overwhelming. Not to mention the physical impact of perimenopause symptoms – think low energy, lack of sleep, itchy skin, weight gain, and night sweats – which can also be added to the peri pot of irritation.
Lastly, let’s add on top of that, that perimenopause can begin exactly when life feels more pressurised; from being at the height of your career or changing careers, to parenting, being in a relationship or looking for another one, caring for ageing parents and the relentless mental load – is it any wonder you feel angry and irritated?
The good news is that by understanding what’s happening in your brain and body, you can better support yourself…
1. Do physical activity
Exercise is one of the fastest ways to change your brain chemistry. Even just 10 minutes of brisk walking can release serotonin and dopamine, easing irritability and anger. Movement and strength training boost endorphins, those euphoric happy hormones. Start small: walk around the block on your lunch break.
2. Prioritise sleep
Women in perimenopause are up to three times more likely to experience insomnia than premenopausal women, according to The Sleep Foundation. Fluctuations in oestrogen and progesterone affect sleep quality, while vasomotor symptoms such as night sweats can disrupt slumber. While it can feel incredibly frustrating, look at what you can control.
Protect your sleep with simple strategies like a consistent bedtime. Try to avoid caffeine and alcohol late in the day. Limit your screen time and avoid sending those memes to your friends an hour before bed so your brain isn’t disrupted by blue-light, which turns off melatonin production.
Even shifting bedtime 30 minutes earlier can improve sleep quality. Your future you will thank you in the morning.
3. Work with a coach
Over the past decade, there has been an increasing amount of conversation about and information on perimenopause and menopause, which is great. But it can also feel overwhelming to know what advice to follow, from managing symptoms to supplements to take, and this can add to the irritation with a brain that is feeling foggy.
Working with an accredited menopause coach can help you understand the hormonal changes taking place and support you with personalised strategies that work for you.
Within my coaching, I have often found it’s not always what to do that’s the problem, but putting it into practice. You got the weights, but haven’t yet used them; you bought the books and have yet to read them, etc.
That’s why I combine menopause coaching with Rapid Tapping®, which helps to reset your nervous system, shift those invisible beliefs keeping you stuck and help you move forwards.
Once those patterns shift, healthy habits like exercising more, eating to support your hormones, feeling more confident and protecting your energy become natural and help you feel less stressed, helping you navigate perimenopause and beyond.
4. Try a ‘Rage sport’
One way to channel built-up anger is through a very physical, high-energy sport, such as kickboxing, regular boxing, or squash/tennis where you’re whacking a ball around, all of which helps your body release tension and your mood to lift.
Anger activates your fight-or-flight system, which can increase heart rate, blood pressure and adrenaline. Rage sports give that physical surge a safe outlet, helping your body discharge the physiological energy of anger and irritation.
5. Consider HRT
HRT can be helpful for some women as it restores declining oestrogen and progesterone levels, and it can help ease symptoms such as anger, brain fog, hot flushes, night sweats, and disrupted sleep. Speak with a qualified healthcare provider if you are interested in HRT and to find out if it is suitable for you, and the type and dose that’s right for you.
6. Try calming rituals
When cortisol, the stress hormone, is elevated it can have an impact on both oestrogen and mood. Like a seesaw, when cortisol is up, oestrogen goes down.
Mind-body techniques such as yoga, Pilates, EFT Tapping and breathwork can support your mindset and mood and help with peri-rage and irritability. Tapping has been scientifically proven to reduce cortisol by 43 per cent and help reset your nervous system.
This technique also supports the same areas of the brain impacted by perimenopause, which is why I love using Rapid Tapping® and EFT within my coaching and online community.
7. Find your tribe
The power of female friendships is profound. In fact, did you know that having strong social connections is one of the best ways to reduce stress, improve your mental health, and even support hormonal balance during perimenopause?
Research shows that when you connect with other women in meaningful ways, your body release the bonding hormone oxytocin, which helps you feel more grounded, supported and less stressed. Spending time with your friends and with people who are on the same wavelength is truly good for your health.
8. Listen to anger
What if peri-rage was your friend? Anger sometimes has a message. Maybe your boundaries are being crossed, your needs are not being met or an area of life is out of alignment.
In a world where we often rush from one thing to the next in a body that is going through a deep transformation, listening within can be guide us towards change. In my own life, learning to respond rather than react has been a game changer in terms of reclaming inner calm.
Jo Fiddy, certified menopause coach and Rapid Tapping® practitioner, helps women manage stress, boost energy and regain balance through 1:1 coaching and The Tapping Reset community. Visit riseandvibewithjo.com.
