It is estimated that 1 in 3 women experience some loss of sex desire during their lifetime. With so many solutions on the market, it’s hard to know whether remedies that claim to boost your libido are worth it. Quick fix or complex solution – we find out

Bremelanotide is one of the many prescribed medications to treat low sexual desire in premenopausal women. It’s designed to target receptors in the brain that scientists believe play a role in sexual desire, boosting the release of dopamine in key areas that affect arousal. But is it a worthy addition to your bedside table?

It was reported that 18% of participants for the drug trial ended up dropping out due to its side effects, with many experiencing reactions in the injection site (yes, injection) and nausea. 42% dropped out of the trial altogether – and those who did manage to take part in full claimed that they felt no real benefit from the medication at all.

“A pill can’t reduce your insecurity in bed,” says Leigh Noren, sex therapist and host of In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast. “A pill can’t remove that emotional disconnect and make you all of a sudden feel closer to your partner. Sexual desire is complicated and therefore solutions often need to be multifaceted.”

Leigh suggests that when it comes to working out what might actually help, establishing the root cause of the issue is the easiest starting point – without having to jump to quick fix meds.

“Targeting one factor, like your biology, often isn’t enough,” says Leigh. “There are lots of things you can do to regain your desire, but it starts by focusing on what the actual issue at hand is. Because when you focus on the why, it will point you to what you need to work on.”

According to Licensed Couples Therapist Gina Guddat, there are two things that can affect a woman’s arousal: relationship dynamics and carrying too much mental load.

“Lack of emotional connection, poor communication, and unresolved conflicts alongside feeling unseen, unappreciated and undervalued has a huge impact on a female’s libido,” says Gina.

“The invisible labour that many women carry for their families like finances, caregiving and career pressure really suppresses their desire for sex.”

Why quick fixes won’t work

Sexual desire is more than straightforward biology – it’s a complex relationship issue that can be influenced by psychological, relationship, and even cultural factors.

“Sexual desire isn’t just a biological switch, and framing it as a chemical imbalance ignores emotional and relational issues,” Gina says. “A product might temporarily increase sex drive, but it delays the more meaningful conversations that partners need to have with each other, a couples’ therapist or their medical provider.”

Seeing desire as something easily fixable also creates pressure and blame, and according to Gina, “women may feel ‘broken’ rather than questioning whether the solution was appropriate. It puts the responsibility on the female for a relationship issue that may actually be a couple’s dynamic. What if the medicine doesn’t work, then what?”

Desire vs arousal

“It’s also important to remember that desire and arousal are two different things,” says Gina. “For many men, desire tends to come first. Women, on the other hand, aren’t necessarily thinking about sex or feeling ‘in the mood’ from the offset. But once arousal begins, desire for sexual intimacy often follows.

“Many women tell me that although they initially feel uninterested, engaging in affectionate or sensual activities like kissing, making out, or sharing a mutual back rub helps them relax, feel connected, and become more open to sex.”

Try these expert tips to regain sexual desire

Now you’ve established the root cause, cancelled out the quick fixes and are ready to work on a more developed approach, here’s what Gina recommends:

  • Reduce stress and mental overload: This may include redistributing responsibilities, improving sleep, or setting better boundaries
  • Improve relationship communication: Open conversations about needs, expectations, resentment, and emotional connection can be transformative
  • Reframe desire: Understanding that desire can be responsive (emerging after intimacy begins) rather than spontaneous can reduce pressure
  • Consider couples therapy or sex therapy: Addressing relationship patterns, learning new communication techniques and conflict resolutions skills